Maddie on the Move

"Let's go on a road trip" is the best six words you can say to me. It's no secret I love driving. I think it all started when I was a baby. My parents used to drive me around the block a few times to get me to fall asleep. From there, my mum and... Continue Reading →

An Ode to Ottawa

And just like that, I'm back in the United States. Those 18 months back home in Canada are a blur, but did so much for my evolution as a human. During my second week in Ottawa, I was attacked on the street while walking to work. A man came up to me and sucker punched... Continue Reading →

Home for a Rest

What does home mean to you? Is it the place where you're born? The place where you've lived the longest? Perhaps it's not even a physical place, and more like a person with whom you feel safe. I've been asking myself where is "home" for a very long time. I'm still asking, but at least... Continue Reading →

Trans in Quarantine

It's no secret that COVID-19 has changed everyone's lives.  What seems normal is being challenged on a regular basis.  No more hugging other people.  No more going out to restaurants.  No more in-person chorus rehearsals.  It feels a lot like stepping back inside the closet, and for many in the transgender/non-binary community, that's what has... Continue Reading →

The Power of Music

It's incredible to me how a song can really change your mood or spark an idea.  I have this weird quirk where I often remember the first time I heard a song.  For example, the first time I heard "Fly Away" by Lenny Kravitz, I was sitting in traffic with my mum on the QEW... Continue Reading →

Finding My Way

It's been a few months since I've gone back to work after my surgery.  Recovery is still ongoing, but I've learned the value of self-care.  I had a couple of health scares my first couple of weeks back from medical leave.  One sent me to the hospital from work in an ambulance.  I felt nauseous... Continue Reading →

The New Me

"I am me, I am complete," I say as I try to wake up after hours of surgery. I'm in a room I don't recognize with Megan by my side. I was still feeling the effects of anaesthesia. I finally have a vagina! I can't believe it. I felt euphoric when I started taking hormones,... Continue Reading →

The Final Countdown

Mood swings, anxiety, self-doubt and night sweats, I've seen it all this month. New Year's Day 2019 came and I had to immediately stop taking estrogen. In just a few days, I will be undergoing gender confirmation surgery (GCS). The doctors said I needed to stop taking estrogen because it increases the risk of blood... Continue Reading →

Goodbye, Old Friend

"Don't talk badly about (dead name.)  I really liked him a lot," one of my co-workers exclaimed to me recently.  It was weird hearing the name I was given at birth.  I've taken so many steps to remove myself from that identity.  In that moment, I also realized I need to take some time to... Continue Reading →

A Hairy Situation

Hair.  It's everywhere.  I'm growing out the hair on my head, and I'm super excited to finally have long hair.  Elsewhere, hair is one of the biggest triggers for my gender dysphoria. When Megan and I decided it was time for me to come out, one of the first things I did was to get... Continue Reading →

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